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Low assertiveness

Some of the common symptoms of low assertiveness

Have you been feeling?

  • low
  • upset
  • sad
  • flat
  • irritable
  • guilty
  • vulnerable
  • nervous
  • anxious
  • tense

Have you had thoughts like?

  • ‘No one likes me’
  • ‘I’m no good’
  • ‘I mustn’t disappoint people’
  • ‘I must help others at all times’
  • ‘I can’t say no’
  • ‘Others will judge me’
  • ‘Others will think I am useless’
  • ‘Why did I say that?’
  • ‘Why didn’t I do that?’

Have you noticed?

  • you are spending more time alone
  • you have stopped doing the things you enjoy
  • you never express your own opinions and feelings
  • you struggle to say ‘no’ to people
  • you struggle to say what you want or need
  • you find it difficult to give and receive compliments
  • you find it hard to complain to others

Possible causes of low assertiveness

  • stressful life events – these can be unwelcome or traumatic, such as being bullied at work, getting divorced, or being attacked/abused
  • negative thinking – sometimes you may start to think negatively due to an event or situation, this can then become a habit and part of your general outlook, you may not even be aware of how negatively you were thinking or how this is impacting on you
  • anger – If you struggle to express your feelings particularly anger you may find yourself low in assertiveness as a result of not expressing your anger or frustration in a safe and responsible way
  • anxious personality type – you may have certain thinking styles which are part of your personality that can lead to you feeling anxious and nervous about yourself
  • learnt behaviour – you may have learnt to have low assertiveness skills. Your childhood or life experiences may be the reason for this
  • low self-esteem/confidence – If you have a negative or poor opinion of yourself you may feel more anxious and vulnerable and struggle to assert yourself

Source : Insight Healthcare