How To Talk About Mental Health

How to start the conversation | Why is mental health important | Mental health and age

Talking about mental health is the first step to addressing how someone may be feeling. Not only can it give someone an outlet for their emotions, but it can also help them feel even a little bit better.

But we know that talking about mental health can be a challenge. No matter what you or a loved one may be going through, conversations about mental health can sometimes feel awkward and uncomfortable.

To help, we’ve pulled together some suggestions for the best ways to talk about mental health.

7 tips for talking about mental health

1. Recognise the importance of emotional wellbeing

The very first step of talking to people about mental health is to simply understand that emotional wellbeing is unique to each person.

From dealing with financial stress to struggling to cope with grief, everyone’s emotions should be acknowledged and discussed. No matter the situation, it’s important for the person to feel like they’re being taken seriously.

Phrases such as “keep your chin up” or “crack on” can be seen as dismissive or patronising, no matter the good intentions. Instead, try starting with the following phrases when you want to talk to someone about feelings:

• How can I best support you with what you’re going through?
• What do you want me to know about how you’re feeling?
• Can we talk about what you’re feeling? If not, is there someone else you’re comfortable talking to?

2. Choose a comfortable setting to talk

Finding a comfortable setting is key when talking about mental health. Try to choose a discreet location, free from distractions or interruption.

A coffee shop can be a soothing, neutral space to start the discussion, though not everyone will feel comfortable opening up in such a public place. You can also try a peaceful walk around a park or simply inviting that person to your home for a cup of tea.

It's important to note, however, that you shouldn't let finding that absolute perfect setting stop you from having an important chat about mental health.

3. Ask open questions

Whether you’re talking about mental health with your family or friends, always try to ask open questions.

An open question is one that cannot be answered with a simple “yes” or “no”, which can encourage people to open up. Some examples of open questions you could use to talk to someone about their mental health include:

• How are you doing today?
• What’s on your mind?
• What does that feel like?

When starting a conversation about someone’s mental health, it can be helpful to include a statement before your open question. For example, “I’ve noticed you seem a little down recently. How are you doing?”

However, it’s important to note that if the person is trying to answer with short or closed responses, then don’t push them too much to open up.

4. Listen actively

As we all know, talking about your own mental health can be difficult. That’s why it’s important to show you’re actually paying attention when you check in on others.

There are different ways to actively listen to someone. Everyday non-verbal cues, such as nodding your head, seem very simplistic but are much more impactful than you think. Active listeners shouldn’t look distracted either, so avoid fidgeting or checking your phone while the other person is talking. If you’re sitting down with someone, maintain eye contact to show they have your full attention. It's important to remember you’re listening to understand the person, not listening to answer.

When talking about mental health, avoid interrupting the other person too. It can steer the conversation in a different direction or give the impression that your opinions on the topic are more important. Instead, allow a few seconds of silence after the person stops speaking to then ask another open question.

5. Don’t rush for a solution

It’s important to remember you’re just checking in with someone; you don’t need to offer all the solutions.

Your role when talking about mental health is to just let someone express how they’re feeling. It’s about giving them an opportunity to confidentially discuss their emotional wellbeing, without interruption or judgement.

Often, people want the time and space to come to their own conclusions, so offering solutions or advice isn’t always helpful. Sometimes, you just need to be a friendly sounding board. You don’t need to resolve the problem for them, rather you’re there to listen and support them to a professional who can help them with their recovery journey, should they feel ready for that step.

6. Discuss the benefits of self-care

Giving solutions to problems can be overwhelming, especially if the person hasn’t requested such advice. You may find it useful to talk to people about self-care methods instead.

Steps like exercise, getting a good night’s sleep, or taking a soothing bath can help reduce stress not only on the mind, but the body too. You could try asking them whether they currently practice any self-care methods and whether they find any of them useful.

Practicing mindfulness can also help de-clutter the mind, helping to alleviate symptoms of anxiety or low mood. To learn more about how to practice mindfulness, you can read our article on how to be mindful.

7. Offer support in the future

Mental health isn’t sorted after just one conversation. When it comes to mental health, its important to reassure the person you’re there for them moving forward as well.

That could look like letting them know you’re available for a chat, or offering support should they decide to seek more professional help such as therapy or counselling. Offering that open line of support can help people feel more comfortable in sharing later on.

Why is mental health important?

Mental health charity Mind reports that each year 1 in 4 people will experience some sort of mental health issue.

While mental health typically refers to your psychological, emotional, and cognitive state, it can start to impact other areas of life too, especially when left untreated. For example, you may notice the following:

• Decreased self-worth.

• Loss of interest or enjoyment in hobbies.

• Withdrawal from socialising.

• Difficulties with memory.

• Changes in appetite (eating more or less than usual).

• Weight loss or gain.

When our mental health is in a good place, it can make life feel that bit easier. Whether it’s navigating grief, dealing with change like a new job or big move, or just coping with general low mood and feelings of sadness, learning the best way to care for your mental health is important for your wellbeing.

If you’re worried about your own mental health and your feelings start impacting your daily life or causing significant distress for extended period of time, it’s best to speak to your GP. They’ll be able to offer support and advise the best course of action for you.

At Benenden Health we offer access to 24/7 Mental Health Helpline as part of our private healthcare services. Meaning you can speak to a professional about useful resources at any time, any day.

How does mental health impact different age groups?

Young people and mental health

According to the NHS, 1 in 5 young people deal with a probable mental health disorder, while Mind reports that 2 in 3 young people dealt with stigma when reaching out for support.

With these figures in mind, it makes sense that the younger generation struggle with checking in on others.

One of the biggest obstacles to young people between the ages of 16 to 24 checking in on someone else’s mental health is spotting the signs in the first place.

To see whether you need to talk about mental health with your family or friends, have a look at the potential signs and symptoms to look out for in young people, below:

• Erratic behaviour or mood swings.
• Unexplained absences from school, college, or university.
• Avoiding spending times with friends or family.
• Change in appetite.
• Spending a lot of time on their own.
• Constantly exhausted.

Over 60s and mental health

If the younger generations are the most vocal about their mental health, those over 60 are certainly the most reserved age group.

In fact, The Centre for Mental Health reports 75% of those 65 and older have experienced mental ill health since turning 65. One reason for this could the growing numbers of older carers looking after a loved one, which can feel lonely and isolating. Carers UK reports there are 5.8 million unpaid carers in the UK and those between 75 and 89 provide the highest amount.

Despite these high levels, Age UK suggests older people are less likely to talk about their mental health, which could result in them missing out on treatment. Additionally, it’s more common for older people to be prescribed medication as opposed to being referred to counselling.

With those over 60 being more reserved talking about mental health, it’s important for everyone else to pick up the conversation.

How can Benenden Health help with mental health?

Talking about mental health can be difficult, especially if you’re unsure who to turn to, or don’t feel comfortable to talk to a loved one about how you’re feeling.

At Benenden Health, we want to help. With our affordable private healthcare, you’ll get access to our 24/7 Mental Health Helpline. From day one, you’ll be able to speak to a dedicated professional about the best resources and support to help you address your mental health concerns – anytime, any day.

Alternatively, if you’re looking for other ways to alleviate stress in everyday life or you’d like to know how your diet can support mental health, then head over to our Be Healthy hub.