New member enquiries 0800 414 8001 *

Existing members 0800 414 8100 *

Latest study reveals impact of modern life on the wellbeing of married couples

27th September 2012

The startling impact of modern life on the stability of married relationship is revealed today as a study of 2,000 married people found that physical intimacy is now ranked low in the priorities of modern marriages.

A fifth confessed they often avoid sexual intercourse and a third of married Brits even went so far as to describe it as a ‘chore’ - with top reasons for avoiding physical intimacy described as sheer fatigue, stress and work pressures.

The research, commissioned by leading health and wellbeing mutual organisation Benenden Healthcare Society, also showed that the average busy Brit now ranks reading their book, watching the television or making sure the kids lunches are made over one-on-one time with a partner on a typical weeknight evening.

Yesterday Lawrence Christensen, Head of Communications & Strategy at Benenden Healthcare said:“The strain of modern life is forcing married Brits to put their romantic lives on hold. Sadly, it appears that the statistics confirm the stereotype of sex lives taking a downward plunge within marriage - with it becoming a chore for a third of married Brits.

“Married couples are finding that their priorities are elsewhere and this is down to a variety of reasons, but the important point is that this is causing worry and impacting on mental wellbeing.

“Sex isn’t just the physical act but includes the expression of intimacy towards a partner and the statistics show that even then, Brits would rather read a book.”

The average couple has sexual intercourse just five times a month on average, however that’s far removed from the ideal number – with Brits thinking 11 times a month is the perfect amount for those married.

A resigned tenth of the respondents say they just don’t click with their partner in that way anymore. And, sadly, one in twenty confesses that they just don’t think they love their partner anymore.

Ensuring work is all done and making sure nothing good is on TV are the biggest priorities before even thinking about anything in the bedroom each evening, and many would much rather read their book. While over a fifth said they have to feel their partner has shown them affection that day before they feel like it’s an option.

A fifth of people have faked an illness rather than face getting intimate in the bedroom. And 43 per cent of respondents think their diet has an impact on their sex life.

The majority of people said that their sex life inevitably faded after marriage – with the average married person saying the passion fades after just 1 year, 8 months and 23 days.

One in ten married people described their sex life as ‘non-existent’ while four in ten said it was ‘okay’ – just a quarter could say they had a good sex life.

A third of married Brits find sex a chore and sadly 40 per cent of the study claims they don’t find their partner as attractive as they did when they first got married. And four in ten Brits think they and their partner are not well matched in terms of sex drive.

In fact, more than half of married people said problems or worries about their sex life have an impact on their life outside of the home, with many citing their work performance and temper with friends and colleagues as the main areas affected.

Three in ten Brits argue regularly about their sex life, and more than half admitted they have reason to worry. A tenth of Brits worry they are failing their marriage because they don’t want sex, while a fifth say sex is not an important part of their marriage.   

Lawrence Christensen continued: “Whilst a fifth of Brits say that sex is not an important part of marriage, many are finding that modern lifestyles are preventing a functioning sex life even when it is important to them.

“This is leading to worries and arguments and placing great mental strain on individuals. Is it time for married couples to reconsider their priorities?”

Top 20 reasons for avoiding intimacy within married relationships:

1.     Too tired

2.     Stress at work

3.     I don’t feel attractive

4.     It’s too hot

5.     I want to read my book

6.     Not confident in my body

7.     I have too much on my mind

8.     I’ve got a headache

9.     I have neck or back pain

10.  It’s too ‘the same’ every time

11.  I don’t really enjoy it anymore

12.  I’m too full from dinner

13.  It’s too cold

14.  I don’t have enough time

15.  Sometimes it bores me

16.  I want to watch sport

17.  If there’s a film I want to watch

18.  I have too much household stuff to do

19.  I’m not attracted to my partner

20.  I don’t think my partner deserves it

 

 

twitter icon facebook icon youtube icon linkedin icon googleplus icon

Contact us - We would love to hear from you

New members

Send us a message

Benenden Personal Healthcare
Holgate Park Drive
York
YO26 4GG
0800 414 8001 * (Lines open 8am-5pm, Mon-Fri excluding Bank Holidays)

Existing members

Send us a message

Benenden Personal Healthcare
Holgate Park Drive
York
YO26 4GG
0800 414 8100 * (Lines open 8am - 8pm, Mon-Fri excluding Bank Holidays)

Please note that your call may be recorded for our mutual security and also for training and quality purposes.

Health cash plans

Benenden Health Cash Plan
BHSF Limited
2 Darnley Road,
Birmingham,
B16 8TE
0800 414 8071

Lines are open 8.45am to 5.30pm Monday to Friday.

Self-pay orthopaedic surgery

Send us a message

Benenden Hospital Trust
Goddard's Green Road
Benenden
Cranbrook
Kent
TN17 4AX
01580 242 521 (Lines open 9am-5pm Mon-Fri)

Health assessments

Send us a message

Health assessments
Unit 1, Cameron Court
Cameron Street
Hillington Park
Glasgow
G52 4JH
0800 414 8486*

Travel insurance

Send us a message

Travel insurance
2nd Floor Maitland House
Warrior Square
Southend-on-Sea
Essex
SS1 2JY
0800 414 8301*

Lines open for Sales
9am-8pm Monday to Friday 
9am-5pm Saturday
10am-5pm Sunday

Lines open for Customer Services
9am-8pm Monday to Friday
9am-5pm Saturday
10am-5pm Sunday

Benenden business healthcare

Send us a message

Benenden Business Healthcare
Holgate Park Drive
York
YO26 4GG
0800 414 8179* (Lines open 9am-5pm Mon-Fri)

Home insurance

Send us a message

Benenden Home Insurance
1st Floor Maitland House
Warrior Square
Southend on Sea
Essex
SS1 2JY
0800 414 8556* (Lines open Monday to Friday 9am – 7pm, Saturday 9am – 5pm, excludes Bank Holidays)

Home Emergency
0800 294 2851* (Lines open 24 hours a day)

Legal Expenses
0330 100 9618* (Lines open 24 hours a day)

Charitable trust

Send us a message

Find out more

Charitable Trust
Holgate Park Drive
York
YO26 4GG
0800 414 8450* (Lines open 8am - 4pm Mon-Fri)